Sexual Addiction Questions from a Christian Point of View

Call us at 810-923-5760
We can help you take the next step in living life.

Earlier this year, Living Life Counseling had the privilege of answering several Sexual Addiction Questions at NorthRidge Church, in Plymouth, MI. Senior Pastor, Brad Powell, asked Living Life’s, Gregg Natkowski, several questions related to the struggles associated with internet pornography and addiction. Highlights of this sexual addiction questions and answers session are provided below.

Sexual Addiction Questions and Answers

Question (BP): You have decided over the course of your career to specialize in actually helping people work through the sexual addiction consequences and the dangers of that – especially men. How did you get into this field?

Answer (GN): I saw a lot of men coming to me with this issue and at the time I didn’t quite know how to treat that type of addiction. I decided to study with Dr. Patrick Carnes, who is the leading expert and pioneer in the field of sexual addiction, back in 1990.

Question (BP): What is Sexual Addiction in simple terms?

Answer (GN): There are four basic criteria for sexual addiction.

  • The first one is being sexually preoccupied with fantasies.
  • The second one is progressive in nature where you need more and more to receive the same desired effect.
  • The third one is having withdrawal symptoms, like depression, anxiety, and anger when you’re not using pornography or sex.
  • And the last one is not fearing consequences, because when you’re using pornography, you’re in an altered state of mind, just - as if you’re drunk on alcohol, so you’re not thinking clearly before and during. It’s only afterward that you see the repercussions of your behavior.

    Question (BP): Would you say that anyone who views pornography somewhat habitually or practices sexual immorality, expresses themselves sexually outside of marriage, and those kinds of things regularly, would automatically be a sex addict?

    Answer (GN): No. I’ve treated men before with moral lapses as well as long-term bad habits. But equally, they feel as much shame and guilt as somebody who acts out addictively.

    Question (BP): Would you say that women can be as impacted by sexual immorality and lust as men?

    Answer (GN): The research indicates that 20% of the American public goes to sexual websites. 30% of that number are women.

    Question (BP): So, one third of the people who are involved in sexual pornography are actually women. So, this is not a men exclusive issue. And women as well can become … sexually addicted or express themselves in sexual patterns that are self-destructive. Correct?

    Answer (GN): That is correct.

    Question (BP): I said at the beginning of this talk that God says that sexual immorality is both wrong and dangerous. And a lot of times people say, Come on. Dangerous. I mean, it’s a normal thing as long as you’re consenting and not hurting anyone. What’s the big deal? From your practice, from your experience with people’s lives, would you agree that it’s not dangerous? Or would you say it is dangerous?

    Answer (GN): It’s extremely dangerous. I’ve seen men come to me broken, feeling suicidal. I’ve seen men go through divorces because of extra-marital affairs. I’ve seen men lose their jobs because they went to sexual porn sites at work and got fired and therefore having a financial problem on top of that because they’re not working. I’ve also seen men who have contracted sexually transmitted diseases, and then they have to go home and tell their wives.

    Question (BP): Many of us have been tempted in the area of sex, but is it hopeless once we get locked in these patterns of sexual immorality, or is there the potential to break that pattern, whether addiction or otherwise, and move into a place where we experience true sexual intimacy and joy as God designed it? Is that possible?

    Answer (GN): Yes. And most men, when they first seek counseling, will say it’s impossible. I’ve been doing this too long.” But I ask them, Do you feel powerless over your sexual addiction? Is it making your life unmanageable? Do you believe that Jesus can restore you to sanity? If they say Yes to those three questions, they’re half way to being healed, because then they need to plug into the body of Christ, such as the groups you have at NorthRidge, where they can talk about the shame, break the isolation – which actually fuels the addiction. By them doing this, they are able to then start healing.

    Question (BP):That’s awesome. So there is hope after this. This is a big issue, it is dangerous, but there is hope. Right?

    Answer (GN): Amen.
  • How to Contact Us
    Our staff can begin helping you immediately to begin living the life you truly desire. For maps and directions to our Ann Arbor, Brighton and Livonia offices please go to the Office Locations page on this website or call us at 810-923-5760.  To send us an email go to the Contact Us page on this website and complete the Contact Us email submission form.

    Living Life Serves the Detroit Metropolitan Area

    Living Life is proud to be providing Christian counseling to the many communities in Southeast Michigan including Ann Arbor, Brighton, Canton, Dearborn, Detroit, Dexter, Fowlerville, Farmington, Farmington Hills, Hartland, Howell, Livonia, Milford, Northville, Novi, Pinckney, Plymouth, Salem, Saline, South Lyon, Southfield, Superior, Walled Lake, Wayne, West Bloomfield, Westland, Whitmore Lake, Wixom, Livingston County, Oakland County, Washtenaw County, and Wayne County.


    Call us at 810-923-5760

    794 W. Grand River Ave.
    Suite 794
    Brighton, MI 48116

    37677 Professional Center Dr.
    Suite 135
    Livonia, MI 48154

    5340 Plymouth Road
    Suite 104
    Ann Arbor, MI 48105

    We can help you live the life you always wanted.

    Women's Topics

    1. How do you approach living life?

      Apr 01, 19 11:39 AM

      How do you approach living life? With spring here and summer approaching, begin looking at new ways to approach living life. Is it time to look at what is preventing you from living life with joy?

      Read More

    2. Relationship Resolution - A Great Plan for the New Year

      Jan 28, 19 03:43 PM

      It is time to look at your resolutions for the new year. Is it time for you to make a relationship resolution and look at areas in your marriage that need some TLC?

      Read More

    3. Coping with Grief During the Holidays and Beyond

      Dec 05, 18 04:31 PM

      The holidays are full of cheer—for many. For others, especially those dealing with the loss of a loved one, the season is far from jolly.

      Read More